Keto Gave Me a New Husband!

I have a new husband since we started the Keto diet a little over three months ago. I know, this sounds like a big exaggeration, and maybe I am exaggerating, but I do seriously have the best version of my husband that I have ever had.

Today, while scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I saw that a lifelong friend posted a silly meme poking fun of Keto. It said, “When everyone won’t shut up about the Keto diet, and I’m like...Yo Keto Taco Bell?” Funny, right?

Except, to me, it’s not. Her son is in the hospital again with another auto-immune flare up. She’s put on a lot of weight and looks heavier than I’ve seen her since high school. She’s moving into the obese range, and so is her husband.

These things aren’t funny to me. I guess that’s why, when I see her so dismissive and antagonistic toward new health information, I get a little irritated. Maybe I’m being too emotional. But I want her to do well, feel well. I want her son to have the best chance of stopping his autoimmune responses. I want her family to be the best versions of themselves possible.

I want them to see results like my husband and I have seen.

But apparently these results don’t look that impressive to people. But to me, they are almost in the range of the fantastical and what I had once thought impossible.

About a year before my husband started the Keto diet, I made him go to our doctor and get referred for a sleep study. Instead of waiting until his follow-up appointment, the specialist immediately called him. He was having so many sleep apneas that he was in the danger-zone. He immediately got set up with a CPAP machine. That machine made him feel so much better since he was finally able to get restful sleep. We were so happy with this discovery and the technology to help. Since we had been married, we had not been able to sleep in the same room. His snoring was just not conducive to co-sleeping.

Then, and I don’t remember how long this took, it really couldn’t have been longer than a couple of weeks, his snoring went away while eating Keto. He was for the first time able to get a restful night’s sleep without the CPAP machine.

However, if he cheats, it he gets more carbs than usual, his snoring will return. Though, it has never gotten to his pre-Keto snoring level. For me, this was definitely not something I expected to be either caused or helped by diet. But what a convenient benefit of Keto. He can go to sleep without a bulky machine attached to him, and he doesn’t have to lug it around when he travels for work!

Also quite notably, my husband was discharged from the military due to a shoulder injury. (This happened years before I met him). Throughout our courtship and marriage, this shoulder would often give him trouble, causing him to wince and stiffen up more times than I’d like to remember. His hip would do the same, only to a much greater degree. If he were to sit for any extended amount of time, he would have such a hard time getting up, often having his hip completely freeze on him. He would stand there silently and visibly in pain, willing his hip to finally move and stop hurting. Being younger than 40, these inflammatory issues just seemed like something he would have to deal with for all his life.

Now, after Keto, they don’t bother him. Within the past month he even purchased a pull-up bar for the house. He routinely will do around 20 pull-ups a day, without having any shoulder issue at all. He never would have been able to do this before! And his hip pain, I have not once, since Keto, seen him freeze and wince like he used to. There have only been a couple times he’s had some slight stiffness in his hip after prolonged periods in the car, but these moments are incredibly brief in comparison to what they were.

His body is like a new body, limber and rejuvenated, without all that inflammation that had stemmed from his previous consumption of sugar and carbohydrates.

Yet, his body is not the only thing that seems new to me. His mind seems to be finally free from all the carb/sugar clutter. That ADHD that plagued him since childhood, that made our marriage almost insufferable for me at times, pretty much disappeared immediately on a Ketogenic diet. He was finally able to focus. Before, he’d become almost obsessive with things, buying this and that, starting this and that, all to let it falter. He’d binge on a task, never seeming to make much progress. He’d never feel like he had time to spend with the family because of these other things he should be doing. This all changed with Keto.

Because his mother, and to a degree his father, have the same symptoms, we had thought that the ADHD was just a genetic curse. (I know many will get mad that I use that term “curse”, but it was causing more harm than good for him and our family). When he and I started the Keto diet to help prevent disease in the future (like Alzheimer's, diabetes, and cancer), we never expected it to clear up his ADHD. We had thought he would probably have to be on ADHD medication for life. Luckily, we were wrong. So wrong!

Now, of course, like the snoring, if he cheats and eats more carbs, he will get that scatter-brained ADHD brain back temporarily. But at least now he can see it and understand it, and then go quickly back to his Keto diet.

And the ADHD fix is not the only way it’s brought out the best version of my husband. He now has been able to experience life without depression, anxiety, and easily-triggered irritability. Imagine how much happier he is!

Back in those days where I almost despised my husband (in that year after our daughter was born), I remember talking to his mom about how he was acting. Her only reply was that he was depressed. As a wife, this didn’t exactly give me hope. It was a diagnosis from his mother that simply said, it’s been something he’s dealt with in the past, and it will be something he will continue to deal with in the future. I was really at a loss for what to do. Like the ADHD, it just seemed to be something that ran in his family, a genetic trait he had no control over.

Then, like the other Keto benefits we saw, the disappearance of his depression and irritability surprised us. He doesn’t disconnect from me or the family like he used to. He doesn’t snap at me or deride and condescend to me at all like did before. He is able to see things in a new light and experience true joy, and he’s a lot better to be around.

With his body feeling better, his brain feeling clearer, and his mood much improved, he seems happier than I’ve ever seen him. We have fun together. We laugh together. He’s now the best husband and father I could ask for.

He has this newfound energy he never had prior to Keto, not even when he was young Marine. For example, he went from not running at all during our five years together, to all of a sudden running three miles at a time right after starting a Keto diet. Then, after only running a week or two, he did his first 5K, then his second. Now, he plans on running a half marathon in a couple weeks. Shockingly to me, he ran over 11 miles four days ago. Eleven miles!

Not only is he working his full-time job and spending quality time with us, he’s working on learning computer programming skills and working out.

I’m really not joking when I say he could be in a fitness magazine after only a few months eating Keto and intermittent fasting.

Last weekend, he ran from our house to meet us five miles up at a park. When I saw him running by, I was stunned! How was that my husband?! How did I get so lucky?!

Never did I expect any kind of diet to affect my family like Keto has done. Four months ago, I was completely ignorant when it came to the importance of what we eat. I had no idea how much carbohydrates affected some of us.

But now I know, and I’m so grateful that we found a way to improve ourselves as individuals and as a family unit.

At the time, I didn’t realize how much weight we needed to lose or how much better we would feel with better fuel for our body. For those people poking fun of Keto, they are in the same boat, not realizing how much they could benefit from some dietary changes.

Keto Saved My Marriage

Could I credit Keto with saving my marriage?

I know, I know! This sounds really sensational. But sometimes that’s what I think.

Back when we first had our daughter, our marriage really suffered! With a high needs baby who wanted to nurse all the time, I had no time to get anything done. I wasn’t sleeping. I didn’t have help. I was miserable.

My husband, without me bringing in an income, had all the financial responsibilities. Plus, he was working out of town, away from us. On one job that lasted for a few months, he would come home for less than 24 hours a week. I know how hard that must have been for him.

Then, sadly, he got laid off, meaning for (I believe) two months he was trying to do whatever he could to make some money. Those months are honestly a blur in my memory in terms of the specifics, but the emotions I felt are tangible in my memory.

In our individual states of distress, we blamed the other.

We had a hard time empathizing, and our marriage suffered. There simply wasn’t time for us to spend together or bond.

He thought I was being lazy. I thought his ADHD symptoms were out of control and that he was wasting time on fruitless efforts.

And there in those moments, I didn’t know if we’d make it. In my ear, I had good-intentioned people telling me to and how to leave him. Those people didn’t help.

Finally, sometime after her first birthday, probably around Christmas of 2017, we had a bares-all argument! I was crying; he was listening. And I finally told him, and I remember these words so vividly, “you cannot keep blaming me for everything.”

And he had been. He was trying to work on learning computer programming, but said he couldn’t focus with me in the house. I talked too much. I was too needy. He didn’t feel well. I should learn about nutrition and do a better job cooking.

I blamed him. He wouldn’t keep our daughter at all so I could have some moments to myself or to sleep. All he did was criticize me. Didn’t he see how much I was struggling!

We both were so exhausted and overwhelmed that we couldn’t help each other.

Then, something clicked. When he saw how fatigued I was, how hopeless I felt about our marriage, he decided to make a change. I had told him to stop blaming me, so he finally did stop.

He made the effort to save our marriage. He took the lead.

First, he came to me with a list of symptoms of ADHD, asking if I thought they sounded like him. They did.

He went to our primary physician and got put on some medication. The medication helped.

He purchased Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life book and had us do the comprehensive personality test. We took it together, discussing ourselves, working to understand how the other operated. We started to see where some of our disagreements stemmed from, where our perspectives differed. He even started working on Peterson’s Past and Future Self-Authoring program.

He made the time for us spend time together as husband and wife, and that time together helped some. We were slowly reconnecting.

Then our daughter started nursing less and sleeping more. I finally got some energy and time back. I was able to sleep in longer spurts and could finally feel less bitter and angry.

I felt, for the first time since her birth, some hope for our marriage.

Then, he came home from work in early April and announced we’d go Keto. My initial response was to rebel (we discovered through that personality test that I’m a highly disagreeable person), but I actively chose to be supportive, to do this with him. It was not an easy choice to make, and I fought my immediate feelings. Thank God I did!

And I learned more about Keto on my own. I sought out information. I found another way he and I could share an interest.

Then, I, quite quickly, found my way in the kitchen and cooked us delicious meals I could feel happy about.

Next, the most amazing thing happened, we both started feeling better. His intense irritability almost disappeared with low-carb, I had more energy to tackle my responsibilities, and he was able to get off his ADHD medication.

Then, we both started prioritizing our life. We found ways to move about our lives in a way that enriched both of us. With us both feeling happier, it was so much easier to communicate without placing blame. It was easier for us to find activities to do as a family to encourage that bond. It was easier to try to make the other happy in little ways.

I stopped watching t.v., and he found a way to distance himself from his previous attachment to comic books. We slowly stopped allowing certain things to drag us down and eat up our time.

More than ever, we became conscious of the toxic people in our lives, as well as the ways we had been toxic.

Now, I have an incredibly fit and attractive husband who manages his time betterand who now relishes his time with us.

I have more energy to truly appreciate the fact that I’m able to be home with our daughter, take her on outings, and keep up with the to-do list.

And I’ve found a new love in nurturing my family. There’s a new joy I find in coming up with meal plans, grocery shopping, and cooking. Through Keto, it seems I have finally found a way to embrace being a stay-at-home parent.

And while we still have financial worries and external stresses, a Keto diet has enabled us to handle them better than ever before. We can still find happiness even in a less-than-ideal situations. This is something I have never been able to do before!

We finally have found that necessary respect and admiration to fully love one another again.

I just wonder how much better we could have been in that year following our daughter’s birth had we been eating Keto back then?

As I told a former co-worker several weeks ago, I thought I had married an asshole, but it was just the carbs.